


Your Hand Forever's All I Want

by ohstardust



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF, Sebastian Stan - Fandom
Genre: Drabble, F/M, Fluffy, I had too many feelings and it resulted in this, Relationship Reflection, but also a more accurate representation of being in a longterm relationship, soft relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-06-10 08:17:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15287508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohstardust/pseuds/ohstardust
Summary: There’s a strong sense of a false portrayal of relationships in the carefully penned novels and endless televised depictions that we all love to consume. The butterflies that last from courtship to termination, in either existence or relationship, the crippling need to be touching and intertwined at every possible moment, the never-ending honeymoon phase. It’s a beautiful thought, the intensity and excitement and racing heartbeats, but it’s not accurate, it’s romanticised and exaggerated at best.





	Your Hand Forever's All I Want

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve taken a small break for my Sebastian series (coming soon!) to write this so I can start posting about him a little sooner. It’s just a no-dialogue drabble heavily based off this post [here](https://helloelloh.tumblr.com/post/163031810702/helloelloh-so-ive-been-in-a-relationship-for-5), discussing the dynamics of a four-year old relationship and the differences between the honeymoon phase and a comfortable partnership. I promise it’s happy. 
> 
> I’ve used the term she instead of Y/N as it seemed too glaringly ugly to write that in such a soft piece of work, it stood out like a sore thumb.
> 
> Please let me know what you think of it if you have a spare moment or leave kudos.

There’s a strong sense of a false portrayal of relationships in the carefully penned novels and endless televised depictions that we all love to consume. The butterflies that last from courtship to termination, in either existence or relationship, the crippling need to be touching and intertwined at every possible moment, the never-ending honeymoon phase. It’s a beautiful thought, the intensity and excitement and racing heartbeats, but it’s not accurate, it’s romanticised and exaggerated at best. 

She knew this all too well, could attest this wholeheartedly after four demanding, yet rewarding years with Sebastian. Nothing was plain sailing or easy, arguments were aplenty, and she didn’t feel excruciatingly giddy whenever he walked into the room anymore. Instead she felt an overwhelming amount of love for him. She’d glance at him over dinner and her heart would expand when he’d smile at her with crinkled eyes and happiness. She could keep her partner at arm’s length for hours at a time despite being in their shared home, but then he’d sit beside her on the sofa and gently pull on her shoulder and she’d curl into his side like she was designed to curve around him so perfectly. Instead of being blinded by him, and her insides shaken, she felt content, safe, like she was home with him.

It was common to fall asleep on their respective sides of the bed these days, faced away from each other after a soft kiss goodnight and whispers of _I love you_ ’s, the pull of tangled limbs and arched closeness no longer mandatory for the body to rest. But at some point, during a peaceful slumber, Sebastian’s arms would reach across the sheets, wrapping around her body and pulling her close, comforting and soothing. Some nights she would find herself nestling into his back, nose pressed to his neck that she’d kiss before drifting back to sleep. 

The first time Sebastian and she kissed, she hadn’t wanted it to end, wanted to share the same air as him, breathe him in, take everything he had to offer and give him everything she had in return. There was a fiery passion to them, this need to taste each other and lean into each other as close as physically possible. She wasn’t sure when it stopped feeling that intense, but she knew it meant more now than it ever did in the early stages. Kisses were more frequent, they were _good morning_ ’s, _honey I’m home_ ’s, _I love you so much_ ’s, _I’m right where I should be_ ’s, _stay safe_ ’s. They conveyed everything that words didn’t, like a secret language, unspoken but felt and understood. 

Their relationship was smiles and love and trust and honesty, it was forehead kisses and morning coffee. It was taking care of each other when you they sick, listening to each other’s concerns and upsets, knowing when to give the other space and when to stay close. It was _I’m going to miss you when you’re gone_ and _I’m so proud of you_. It was _I know I work too much but I want to grow old with you_ and _thank you for being patient_. There was nothing easy about being in the public eye or being alone in an empty house for weeks at a time, but there was a determination to make it last, to build a life that they needed and deserved. 

Moments were tender and plentiful, early mornings before the shrill alarms where they’d lie in the dawn light and watch each other for a few minutes, light fingertip trails outlining features and faces, eyes softly watching and observing, no longer staring in disbelief that they had found one another, but feeling grateful they had. Falling in love over and over again over something very small and seemingly insignificant. They’d built up each other’s self-confidence and helped them see what they did when they saw the other. She’d run lines with him until they were exhausted, and he’d give input when she needed help with her writing. They’d fall into bed late, too consumed with helping their partner and watching them succeed with an adoring smile.

There were lazy days in bed where they’d make love, the passion on a high after weeks apart, but slow and encompassing on the days that allowed for it. There were afternoons where they’d walk their dog, date nights that they’d ensure they dedicated every effort to but without the shyness and guarded reactions of a new relationship. Their hands would rest together on the table, they’d watch each other over a flickering candle and then dance every once in a while. That was much more common in their home though, after a bottle of wine and an old record she’d acquired at the market. It was joyous and warming.

Gone were the heavily jealous early days, replaced with the trust that comes with knowing someone inside out, giving way to the small niggling irritation when someone flirts a little too much or stares for a second longer than necessary. She knew Sebastian attracted many and was admired by many more, but he’d made her feel safe and loved and she didn’t doubt his loyalty. He’d hadn’t once given her reason to, nor had she.

However, despite all the shifts in an extended relationship, they all simply gave way to a strengthening love, a safety blanket of _let’s start a family_ and _you mean everything to me_. 

As the years pass by, it’ll stop feeling like a rollercoaster, it won’t feel new and nerve-endingly exhilarating, but there will be an excitement for your joint future and what you can create together. Nothing will ever be the same, and Sebastian & her think that’s the best thing about their relationship. It felt like _home_.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on Tumblr [ohstardust](https://ohstardust.tumblr.com) if you wanna chat about characters, writing or just a general chit chat.


End file.
